The Gifts in Thwarted Plans
My plans for a lovely art retreat changed abruptly last week thanks to COVID. After 6 months of preparing, rearranging my schedule and planning for 10 days away from Pixie Bee, it was all shut down just days before it was set to begin. I’m still choosing to make the best of it but I notice that for my modified retreat this week, I’ve had the aspiration to reduce my computing time by 50%. I have been unsuccessful. The pressure to perform, featured so glaringly on social media, is strong. I value authentic participation and also know that sometimes my internal, introspective ways of processing don’t keep pace with the simultaneous urgency of digital communication.
In this virtual environment, I know that my hesitation and silence speak volumes.
I’d rather give voice to my own narrative.
This is a conundrum of Mercury retrograde. During these cycles, we’re inclined to be with our thoughts, to reassess and reevaluate what we think, know and believe.
But when we’re in a world that keeps on going at breakneck speed, and in a culture that values profit-making influencers over soul-driven poets, our path can get thwarted. Our momentum can be stalled.
This is when we return anew to our moon-based journal writing practice.
Look up at the night sky. What do you see? That waxing Moon in Aquarius is expanding and growing. On Tuesday at the waxing quarter phase in Capricorn, we may have (consciously or not) re-set our commitment to our purpose. Today, with the plumping of the Moon we can choose how we wish to activate our networks in line with this purpose. Do we reach out for feedback? Assistance? Connection? Today is a good day, whether you’re in a retreat like me or not, to tether back to your people. Let them know that you’re here, and invite and offer a connection that nurtures your heart.
I have accepted that the art retreat that I was supposed to be attending this week needed to shift to a home-based retreat to be with what is. I’m reminded that whatever we seek outside ourselves has always been within us. I’m still doing chores this week, tempering my tech time, and doing stay-cation-y activities like go on hikes and visit Meow Wolf.
I’m also allowing my narrative to shift, and I’m finding words to express this through time under the trees and with the soul-quenching company of the Tarot. I designed a new layout that I found instrumental in helping me craft my message – I’ll share the full of it with you soon. For now, my Purpose is held in the 9 of Swords: to bear witness to the mind caught in hopelessness, to illuminate the path for those who bravely face that which holds them back, to hold space for those in the Dark Night of the Soul, to enter the Shadows with curiosity and faith, and to transform fear into mystery and wonder.
Thank you for being my virtual community. I appreciate the connection with you beyond words!